Starting today on Bollockbuster, you can download FULL LENGTH hardcore porn movies for your iPod Video and Sony PSP. And once you've downloaded them, you can keep them forever! They've introduced a limited selection of porn movies in these new formats, and will be adding many more soon.

Don't have an iPod Video or PSP yet?

You can win an iPod Video or PSP plus 10 movie downloads at Bollockbusters.

How cool is that?

Higamous hogamous woman is monogamous,
Hogamous higamous man is polygamous.
~ Anonymous

A little old lady goes into a sex shop, She appears to have a case of tremors as she's shaking from head to toe.

"Young Man?" she asks the assistant, "Do you sell vibrators?"

"Yes we do" he replies.

"Big flesh coloured ones?"

"Yes we do."

"The type about 14 inches long?"

"Yes we do."

"The type that's about 3 inches thick?"

"Yes we do."

"Well how the hell do you turn it off?"

My guess is she'd been using the huge King Kong Vibrator! Do yourself a favour and read these King Kong Reviews especially the one by Martha the 60 year old woman. Young man! At my age! Fair play to her, right enough so it is!

Also, you might like to see my other post on the Biggest Vibrator

I have just heard that Bollockbuster have got a better Lea Walker porn movie on offer. It features the football breasted Lea but also some of her pals as well and represents much better value than the earlier offering.

Here's the sales pitch:

The hardcore movie featuring Lea Walker from UK's Big Brother Ordinary girls, fresh to porn, are fucked on camera - for the very first time - by the UK's top male performers, Pascal and Tony. Alice, 20, from Poland whose studing law recives a stiff fucking in her chamber! Zoe, 26 from London, get's her pierced pussy tunnelled by Pascal whilse she screams in ecstasy. Eastern European Jessica loves sex and can't wait to get her cunt fucked hard and covered in warm sticky, cum. And Big Brother favorite Lea - hot, blonde and super-big titted - has her pussy plugged deep by Tony in her one and only porn scene. Her massive 30M boobs bouncing beautifully the whole time.

The above mention Pascal is a very well known porn star and has quite a cock on him. He's always good value!

People who think they're generous to a fault usually think that's their only fault.
~ Anonymous

What is the ugly piece of skin attached to the end of the penis called?

A man.

A little boy approaches his father one day, and asks, "Daddy, what's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"

The father takes the boy out to the garage, pulls out a Playboy, and draws a circle around the centerfold's vagina.

"See that beautiful piece of nature in that circle? That's a pussy," the father says. "A cunt is what's outside the circle."

Please don't get onto me about using the word cunt. It's only a word. And please don't think I hate women, it's only a joke.

I would be a more verbal advocate of cunnilingus, but I'd rather not talk with my mouth full.
~ Anonymous

I don't think my neighbour likes my nicely trimmed bush. And just incase he tries to mount in I used Holly!

What is the difference between 'ooooooooooh' and 'aaaaaaaaaaaah'?

About three inches.

If you are presently 'ooooooooooh' but would like to be 'aaaaaaaaaaaah' my article on penis enlargement may interest you.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Anal sex, once the great taboo is now surprisingly popular. Watch any porn DVD and there will almost certainly be anal sex in it, often more anal than vaginal.

So, you've made the discission to try it, you've chosen your weapon(s). They include: Anal Beads, Anal Probes, Butt Plugs, Vibrating Butt Plugs, Anal Douches and the amazing Male G-Spot Massagers. Of all the anal toys only the Male G-Spot Massagers are for men only.

One essential piece of kit is missing from the above list, it is of course, anal lubricant. The most important thing with anal sex is to take things slowly, start small and work up eventually to the larger sizes (if you so wish) but do not forget the lubricant. Any lubricant is preferable to none but anal lubricants have a numbing agent in them which helps to relax the sphincter muscle and in doing so allows for a more pleasurable penetration.

Anal Eaze Lubricant is very popular and comes in a small discreet tube. It specifically designed to ease penetration during anal sex. Contains Benzocaine to desensitise and slightly numb. Ideal lubricant for anal beginners.

Anal Lube Lubricant comes in a tub with a dispensor. Word on the street is, the pump is not very good as the lubricant itself is too thick. However, it is the thickness of the lubricant that appeals to some. It does not run but stays in place. It is similar in consistancy to the good old fashion Vaseline and it does become thinner with body temperature. Comes in natural and cinammon scents.

Golden Girl Anal Jelly Lubricant is obviously aimed at women. The lubricant is slightly thick similar to Vaseline but a little goes a long way. Also has slight desensitising properties that make it ideal for anal play. A good lube for anal beginners.

The aptly named Rear Entry Lubricant is very popular. A good lube for anal beginners. This lubricant contains benzocaine to numb your most sensitive areas.

Boi Toyz Desensitising Anal Lube is a 100% water based cream that is odourless and non-staining, dense with a long lasting smooth texture that contains 5% Benzocaine to numb any area where used and is anti-bacterial too. It is obviously aimed at the gay market and let's face it they probably know anal sex better than anyone. If they use it, it's got to be good.

The previous anal sex articles in this series:

• Anal Sex Part 1 - Anal Beads
• Anal Sex Part 2 - Anal Probes
• Anal Sex Part 3 - Butt Plugs
• Anal Sex Part 4 - Male G-Spot Massagers

Put a glide in your slide!

Here's a great DVD for any one who has ever fantasised about being fucked by the girlfriend wearing a strap-on.

This lucky guy has his rusty bullet hole queened and then has his back doors smashed in by a dildo whilst being gently wanked off. Heaven! You can tell he's enjoying it because his cock is stiff! Filthy bastard!

If you're a girl that fancies some strap-on fucking with your fella, here's some serious inspiration. Let him feel what it's like to have his legs spread and his arse hole violated. Give it to him rough. Ruff, ruff!

Quality Adult Sex DVDs are doing a Pick 3 DVDs, Pay For 2 promotion too which means it's a great time to buy your hardcore porn from them.

What's the difference between a blind archer and a constipated owl?

One can shoot but cannot hit.

What's the difference between a girl in a bubble bath and a Nun?

One has soul full of hope.

The caption:

I See That
You've Already
Met The Twins

That caption is aimed at guys, I'd say. When a girl wears a top that short where the fuck are you suposed to look?

She's a really pretty girl and I say, if you've got it, flaunt it...

Is it the way she's standing or could her name be Won Hung Lo?

I prefer the word tits, girls seem to prefer the word boobs. Boob is another word for mistake and tits are definitely not mistakes.

If you want to see more girls with lovely natural tits. Some of these girls are having sex so be careful!

I have just registered at Bollockbuster and paid for the Lea Walker porn movie.

Registration is free and only takes a minute, you just enter your email address, password, title, first and last names and country and then click on a link on the email you get sent to confirm and activate your membership. Couldn't be easier.

You then get to buy 'tickets' for renting movies. One ticket for £7.99, three tickets for £19.47 (£6.49 each) and five tickets for £29.95 (£5.99 each). Since this was my first time using the site I just bought one ticket.

The movie starts with Lea Walker talking to the camara, she does not seem at all nervous. She says she is 34 years old and she explains that she once weighed 23 to 24 Stones! She reels off a list of 'improvements' that she has had done including a pubic lift (whatever that is). She's had a lot! The voice she's talking to asks her to stop listing them as he's afraid that while she's being fucked something might fall off!

The voice explains that she is going to be fucked by a guy called Tony who joins her on the white leather 'casting couch'. They start snogging and he gets her tits out, they are each about the size of a football and similar in shape. They get licked.

Lea Walker parts her legs to reveal knickers pulled up into her crack. Tony obliges Lea's request to finger her first with one finger, Lea asks for two fingers, then three (please, no jokes about Kit-Kats). Lea asks to be fingered harder and is really getting going.

Tony calls her a 'dirty fuck', Lea says she loves sucking cock. It all starts to get a bit steamy with heavy panting and filthy talk. Lea certainly knows how to suck cock. I loved the way she plays with the guys balls and the sneaky little finger behind the balls probably fingering Tony's bullet hole. Sexy stuff indeed.

Not surprisingly the blow job leads into a tit fuck, those monster orbs dwarfing Tony's cock. Next Lea is fucked facing the camara on top of Tony his glistening cock pumping in and out of her slippery pussy...

It's well worth watching, Lea is a natural and obviously loves sex. She says at the end after she has taken a load of semen down her throat that it was easier than she had imagined...

And so that you don't have to imagine, get over to Bollockbuster and rent the Lea Waker Porn Movie.