Mary Lykes,
The Cockwell Inn,
Tillet,
Herts.

Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well-hung.

I'm so unlucky that if I got half a woman, I'd get the half that talks.
~ Anon

A few years ago I had to have a mole removed from my penis.

That was the last time I fucked a mole!

Check this out!

Check out these DVD Previews. They're are excellent.

The one on the left is interesting. It's called Lick Him Stick In 2 and the preview shows a guy taking a strap-on dildo up the chuffer...

The girl is wearing a red strap-on dildo and she is thrusting it up the guys anus. I just hope this guy got paid loads for the pain and degradation he endured.

Still, you shouldn't knock something until you've tried it!

The reviews cater for all tastes, there's even huge fat girls getting fucked and some real tastey girls too...

Don't take my word for it, go take a look for yourself, it's FREE. I guarantee it!

A guy getting fucked by a dildo, who'd believe it!

Now that is a very dangerous looking penis!

This cute little animal really exists!

Unbelievable but true.

It's called a Naked Mole-rat from Africa.

Going through life is hard enough, but to go through life looking like a

dick with teeth must be horrible!

It's nice to have a huge cock but this guy is just a SHOW OFF!

I'm letting you know before you hear it from anyone else, that I have been contacted by a woman who alleges that I am the father of her child.

I do not know whether she wishes to substantiate this by means of a DNA test, however she has sent a photograph of the child, which bears a very strong and undeniable resemblance. On the basis of this photographic evidence I have decided to begin paying child support immediately.

Regards

Frank

Check out Daddy's Boy

An old circumcisionist often wondered what he could do with the foreskins he had removed. Over the years he had amassed a colection of thousands.

Then one year he had a brilliant idea. He was going on holiday to Morocco and he knew that the moroccans were some of the best leather workers in the world. He would find someone who could make something really special for him.

Upon arriving in Morocco he began to ask around on who was the best leather worker in the country. One name kept coming up and conveniently was in the same city as his hotel.

The very next day he went and found this great leather worker and asked him to make him something out of the foreskins. He gave the old man permission to come up with whatever he could but it had to be very special. Money, he told the old man was no object. He arranged to return in two weeks, at the end of his holiday.

Two weeks passed and the old circumcisionist returned to the old leather worker eagerly anticipating what the old man would have made. He could not hide his disappointment when the old man handed him a small leather purse. "I was expecting something special" he protested. The old leather worker replied "It is, polish it and it will turn into a suitcase!"

Slipped and got the sack.

Ouch!

I have been informed by Adult eBook Shop that BDSM ebooks are the best selling ebooks. It seems that there are many people that get seriously turned on by domination, tying people up and having their wicked way with them... Can't think why!

From the bestselling author of Out Of Control. The beautiful but haughty Ellen Sanchez thought she could get away with embezzling from Jack Sawyer, the powerful CEO of Sawyer Metalworking. When she was caught, she said she would do "anything" to avoid going to jail. Anything turned out to be a new position for Ellen: Company love slave. After months of pleasing everyone on command, Ellen discovered a side of herself he had never suspected; she enjoyed being an "Office Slave."

A short excerpt will give you an idea of what it's like:

Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Top and bottom of her breasts. She was crying now, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She nearly sobbed with relief when Jack told Jim that was enough. He untied her. She sagged down, caressing her tender breasts, her eyes blurred by tears. "I'm going to go get a cup of coffee. You may thank Jim for helping with your training while I'm gone." He left. "Th-th-thank you, Jim," she said automatically, without looking up. Jim's deep voice startled her. "You need to be more polite, slut. Look at me." She raised her eyes and through the fog of tears, she saw his long black cock, sticking out of his pants, right at the level of her mouth. Now she understood what Jack had meant by "thanking him." She opened her mouth and took Jim's thick cock inside. He was too large for her to deep throat him, but that didn't seem to stop him from trying to force himself on her. She used one hand to stroke him in an effort to bring him off more quickly. That seemed to pacify him. She rubbed the shaft and suckled the head for several minutes while Jim built up a head of steam. El's pussy began to throb of its own accord and she felt her wetness grow. It surprised her because she suddenly realized she wanted the big man's huge cock deep into her pussy. Would Jack allow it? Within a few more minutes, Jim came in great quantities. El choked on his sperm, much of it running down her chin and splashing on her breasts.

My girlfriend loves her ebooks, she even has a Palm eBook reader on her mobile phone!