When the government introduced the smoking ban they meant that you can only smoke in private.
Not that you can only smoke with your privates.
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Here's a way of combining your shoe fetish with the pleasures and advantages of wearing a cock ring.
Penetration will only be possible with larger women.
Here's the winner of the Best Dressed Penis award in a traditional Victorian maids outfit.
Very fetching!
Meet the huge testicle tribe!
As you will see from the picture on the left, these guys have the biggest bollocks in the world. By a long way.
Their secret has recently been revealed.
Males in the tribe are absolutely normal until puberty when they adopt a (rather disgusting) habit that the men of the tribe have practiced for centuries.
The habit is, searching out menstruating cows and then licking the bloody discharge off the cows vagina. Yuk!
Someone must have done this first without knowing the 'desirable side affect' and it beggars belief that others copied him.
It is believed to be hormones in this bloody discharge that causes the testicles to swell to such an enormous size.
The ability to reproduce does not seem to be affected although the act of reproduction most certainly must be.
Girls, would you fancy balls like those swinging against your arse!
So, if you want huge nuts, then just go down to your local cow field and start plating any menstruating cows that you see.
Sure beats potions, lotions and hanging weights on them...
My girlfriend recently read Power Play by Andrew Hobson and she told me how much she enjoyed it. She said that the sex descriptions reminded her of when we do it. God bless her.
So I took a peek inside the book and I have to say that what she said is a big compliment. The descriptions of the sex sessions are fantastic. You can't fail to get a hard-on (or wide-on) when reading them.
So I'll give you an excerpt from the book to give you a taste of what it's all about...
Truth to tell, Susan didn't have much sexual experience and what she did have was nothing like the loving adoration she was receiving right now. She played with her nipples, harder than they had ever been, almost painful in their arousal and her pussy had never been wetter. She knew Dave was going to go down on her, something she had never experienced, but she had heard from friends just how good it could be. She couldn't wait. She was shivering in anticipation.
Dave could feel Susan's intense arousal as his mouth moved nearer and nearer to her sopping vagina. He smelled her sweet scent and wanted to plant his mouth on it. He stuck out his tongue, and with torturously slowly motions, licked from her inner thigh up, closer ... closer ... until finally his tongue met her soaking slit. He licked up and down, carefully avoiding her clit, maddening strokes along her puffy lower lips before plunging it straight up her cunt. The effect was electric, Susan's eyes opened wide and she breathed in sharply, "Oh my God!" It was everything she had heard it would be. His soft tongue tickled her cunt and it felt like he was fucking her with his tongue. Her hands grasped his head and she tried to force his face further into her dripping pussy, but the best was yet to come.
Dave withdrew his tongue from Susan and almost negligently flicked across the face of her swollen clitoris, "JESUS CHRIST!" she shouted, it was unbelievable. Cunt sucking had just reached a new level. "OH MY JESUS CHRIST!" was all she could say. Dave let his tongue and lips move back and forth across her clit in measured strokes, until he could feel Susan begin to buck her hips underneath him, he knew she was about to cum, but he never changed his pace, he just kept flicking gently at the engorged organ of pleasure.
Susan could barely stand it; she had never felt anything like this before. Her pussy felt as if it were smouldering and about to catch fire, and still the pleasure came. It built inside her; the warmth grew, spreading through her body until she thought she would explode. And then she did. All she could do was gasp as the ecstasy filled her, "Oh my Jesus... Oh... I've never felt... Oh Dave... Oh... Ooh... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Her body twitched convulsively as she fought for control, her legs thrashed and she held her hands to her head as it shook from side to side. Her eyes were wide open and her mouth was stuck in a silent scream, until slowly she began to come down from the clouds and was once more able to speak. Breathing deeply, she looked down her body to where Dave was crouched between her thighs, grinning broadly. She gasped, "Oh Dave, you can do that again. Anytime. I've never known anything like that. Oh Dave."
He answered, "I will, but not yet. I have something else for you first."
Still not quite calm, Susan frowned, "What?"
He stood up and pointed to his massive erection jutting out in front of him like a spear, "This."
Susan's mouth began to water as she looked at his prick once again, the biggest she had ever seen in real life. Not like the dirty videos. She knew she would ever be able to manage one of those freakish monsters, but this one – this one she really wanted. She looked back up at him, her face a mask of desire. She spread her legs even wider as she lay before him and said, "Fuck me."
Dave fell upon her like an avalanche, he prodded her groin once or twice, before locating her drenched opening and thrust his hard cock deep inside her. "Christ, you're so tight," he moaned. Susan couldn't speak; she had never felt so full and stretched before. It was a little painful, but Dave seemed to know instinctively he should wait a moment, to let Susan get used to him, before he started moving. "Are you okay," he asked gently.
"Oh God, yes," she replied, "Now fuck me good!"
Dave began to thrust his cock in and out of Susan's soaking wet hole. He surrendered himself to the silky soft wetness of her cunt and allowed the sensations to crawl from his prick to the rest of his body. As he moved his stiff cock in and out, Susan began to moan in ecstasy. Ten, fifteen minutes, she didn't know how long they had been coupling, it seemed like Dave could last forever. She never wanted this to end. She thought his tongue was good, but oh my God, this was even better. She couldn't believe the new sensations her pussy was experiencing. She started thrusting her groin back at him as they fucked, their pubic bones met with a rhythmic slap, and each time she felt a stab of pleasure from her clitoris as they met. Each sensation was stronger than the last, more powerful, more joyful. She began to lose control again as the feelings she was experiencing from this wonderful man threatened to overwhelm her. She began to scream, "Oh God!... Fuck me!... You're killing me!... Please!... Please!... Oh my God!"
They moved faster together, holding each other tightly and pressing their mouths firmly together, kissing, almost fighting with their tongues as their climax rapidly approached. Dave went into overdrive, slamming his hard cock into her battered pussy, he began to groan and Susan knew he was about to cum. She begged him, "Please... Not yet... I need to cum... Oh Jesus!... I'm Cumming... I'm cumming... OH JESUS CHRIST!... I'M CUMMING!..." and then she couldn't say another word, she clenched her teeth together as she felt Dave explode inside her and fill her boiling cunt with his sticky fluid. He screamed wordlessly as his cock throbbed and pulsed and sent gob after gob of his seed into her wonderful tight cunt. That was all she needed to send her over the edge once again. The pleasure flowed through her, surrounded her. She couldn't move, could barely breathe. Her cunt was white-hot and her breasts were almost painful. If Susan had not experienced this herself, she would never have believed it could be this good.
Wow! Now that's what I call fucking sex!
If you want to buy Power Play then look on Adult eBook Shop, it's only £2.48!
Mirror, mirror, in my car,
Who's the sexiest girl by far?
Check out how the g-string is pulled up into her arse crack and the pronounced mound of her mons venus.
Very SEXY!!!
Now that is a very lovely shaved pussy!
It's bizarre the trouble some people will go to for their pets.
McCavity, McCavity, there's no one like McCavity.
I think it's just another example of depravity.
As the old playground song goes:
When your feeling glum stick your finger up your bum!
When your feeling grotty stick your finger up your botty!
~ Anon.
How much truth is in that little ditty?
Any way, I just love the diagram on the left. Notice the cum dribbling out. Cool!
Look here for some serious advice on prostate massage
The Andro Penis Extender is considered amongst the best penis enlargement traction devices on the market. Some sites are selling this for $300.00+ or £180.00+ but...
Bionic Tonic are selling it for £129.99.
As usual, they are the best price I can find on the web.
Let me know if any one else is cheaper.
Check out their Penis Enlargement Information page for more details.
What a lovely view!
If you like tights, stockings and bodystockings, especially the open crotch variety and I think all men do. Then take a look at Bionic Tonic and check their prices out.
That's sexy, sexy, SEXY!
Check this porn dvd out!
If you want to see the fattest black cock in the porn industry then take a look at Face Full Of Diesel. As you can see it's a very thick cock and the girls love it!
The girl in the picture is having trouble getting it into her mouth. They all do!
If you would like to see girls getting fucked by this monster cock, see vaginas stretched and distended as that hunk of meat forces its way in. Then look here for huge cocks.
Some girls even manage to take it up the arse! Can you imagine how that looks?
You don't have to imagine, just get a Shane Diesel DVD!
Q - What's the similarity between a fat girl and a moped?
A - They're both fun to ride until your friends see you.
Everyone should try a fat chick at some point in their life.
I've had a few but none quite as fat as the girl in the picture.
The most amazing thing about fat girls is that the have very small tight vaginas, so they really appreciate a good fat cock pushed up them.
The other thing is they are very comfortable. Just get on top and ride the waves.
But the most brilliant thing is they don't often get fucked, so when they do, it's a major event and they keep coming (back for more).
Quality Adult Sex DVDs SPECIAL OFFER - Treat yourself to some filth - there are no postage and packing charges whatsoever!
In addition to this offer, each third film is free of charge. So what's stopping you! Every DVD including our latest films are included in this brilliant offer, so take don't hang around!
It's fun to watch people fuck! So, drop your pants, put on a good movie and wank yourself to oblivion. Better still, if your girlfriend is about, watch it together and fuck eachothers brains out as you re-enact the sexy scenes on the TV.
Here's some advice for girls (or guys) that don't like the taste of spunk (sperm) but do like sucking cock (giving blowjobs).
When you feel the guy is going to cum (ejaculate) - this should be fairly obvious, it is with me - take his cock as far down your throat as possible. There are no taste buds in the throat.
Keep the helmet (glans penis) deep down your throat as long as you feel the cock pumping.
That way, you avoid tasting the spunk and the guy gets a lovely finish to the blow job and everyone is happy.
