Another snap from my holiday.


It was a beautiful sunset.

A bit like humans. Both want to fuck the same female at the same time!


Either that or the top one is gay and going for a bit of arse...

I didn't say Micky Mouse had buck teeth!

I said he was FUCKING GOOFY!

As you can see, I've been away on holiday...

With my girlfriend. Fancy hanging off them?

As you can see, I've been away on holiday.


Fancy being Tea Bagged by them?

A guy goes round to his friend's house, walks into his living room and sees his dog Rover laying there licking its penis and testicles.

"I wish I could do that." The guy says in admiration.

"Why don't you ask Rover for permission, he'll probably let you." The friend replies.

A thick guy walks into his living room and sees his wife laying back on the sofa with her legs parted.

He is horrified that her bare pussy is on show...

He shouts at her "Can you close your legs, the K - I - D - S can see your cunt!"

For those that don't immediately get it he spells out kids (kay, eye, dee, ess) when he actually meant to spell out cunt. Get it?

Woman: "Officer! I've been graped!"

Policeman: "Don't you mean raped?"

Woman: "No, there was a bunch of them!"

Have you ever wondered why condoms traditionally come in a packet of three?

The last time I wanted it three times was before I'd had it once...

A guy goes to his doctors with a serious farting problem.
The doctor gets the guy to remove his lower garments and lay down on the couch to be examined.
The guy farts just as the doctor is bending over him.
The doctor walks to the other side of the surgery and picks up a long pole with a large metal hook on the end of it and walks back menacingly toward the patient.
"Jesus! What the fuck are you going to do with that?" Yells the terrified patient.
"I'm going to open a few windows," replies the doctor.

She was only the admirals daughter but her navel base was full of discharged semen.

A recent survey found that women who come (no pun intended) into contact with semen during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active. This lead one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful—and potentially addictive—mood-altering chemicals.

They did not specify whether the point of contact, ie. throat, vagina or breasts made any difference...

A guy in a bar buys a pint, then takes a photo out of his top pocket, stares at it for a few seconds and then puts it back.

He does this every time he has a pint.

After the eighth pint the barman asks why he keeps looking at the photo.

He replies "It's a picture of the wife and when she looks good enough to fuck, I'll go home!"

Q. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A. A Lickalotapuss.

Q: What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Guys, if your girl is a bit too big down below, then maybe you should consider some pussy tightener...

Or if you are the problem and you could do with a bit more meat on your privates, then consider the Andro Penis Extender. It's considered the best penis enlargement traction devices on the market. Bionic Tonic are selling it for £129.99 as a Christmas Special Offer. Now that is VERY CHEAP for that product.

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A: He was stuck up the chicken.

Just who are they imitating?


We like it, so it should come as no surprise that they like it!

Any one for cricket?

You don't have to cook it breakfast and pretend to be interested in it the next morning.

I've started giving free driving lessons in my spare time.

Interested?

This manoeuvre is called a two handed gear change. It's an advanced technique.

My Pals over at Bionic Tonic sent me this review of a penis enlarger that was left on their site. They never published it but thought it was funny, so they gave it to me.

Being born with both a very small length and girth, I have tried several ways to improve my size. I have been told the old saying 'its not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean', unfortunately tho, this is never the case. Saying that tho, I have no motion either, so my self-confidence was at an all time low before i bought this product. During my last sexual encounter, as I am very self-consious about the size of my member, i put it into the hand of my partner in the dark. Unfortunately she replied 'sorry, i dont smoke' which is a terrible put down. I shall not talk about any growth I have acieved, as that would be vulgar, but lets just say im now happy with almost 2 inches. And let me tell you guys, the women love it now!! I highly recommend this product!
~ Mr Craig Ball