AdultsExoticA - The Exotic Adult Sex Blog - Quotes category

The Gay Gardener

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:32:13 GMT

Was up to his balls in Pete...

Heavy Shit Going Down

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:39:36 GMT

Turds Over 10 Pounds Must Be Lowered By Hand

One Up The Bum Plenty Of Harm Done

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:57:04 GMT

Famous headline on front page of an English World War 2 news paper.

BRITISH PUSH BOTTLES UP GERMANS REAR

And if your thinking of pushing anything up someone's rear then check out these Butt Plugs, Anal Beads and Prostate Toys...

Would you really like to see what can happen if you Push a Bottle Up the Arse!

Hello Sailor!

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 10:36:05 GMT

The Vice Admiral's vice was the Rear Admirals's rear.

Cartoon Sex

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 09:21:14 GMT

I didn't say Micky Mouse had buck teeth!

I said he was FUCKING GOOFY!

Sexy Tight Jeans

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 09:58:05 GMT

The first time I ever saw my current girlfriend she was wearing a very sexy and very tight pair of jeans.

I went over to her and asked "How do you get into those tight jeans."

She replied "You can start by buying me a few drinks..."

Wanking Feel-Good Factor

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:43:05 GMT

Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Naked Women Does Head Stand!

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 00:19:20 GMT

Confucius say: Woman who stand on head, crack up.

Rape Is Impossible

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 10:00:08 GMT

Confucius say: Rape is impossible, woman with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down.

Condoms - Why Packets of Three?

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 21:10:20 GMT

Have you ever wondered why condoms traditionally come in a packet of three?

The last time I wanted it three times was before I'd had it once...

Regarding Your Penis

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 23:21:28 GMT

Judging by the smell I thought it would have been bigger.
~ Anonymous

Girls

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:32:20 GMT

If girls are made of sugar and spice, why do they smell of fish?
~ Anon.

Cunnilingus

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:25:13 GMT

I kissed her lips tenderly, then she crossed her legs and broke my glasses!
~ Anon.

Half A Woman

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 10:35:46 GMT

I'm so unlucky that if I got half a woman, I'd get the half that talks.
~ Anon

Woman Defines Indecent

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 17:31:49 GMT

If it's long and thick and buried to the hilt then it's IN decent.
~ Anonymous Woman

Huge Pussy

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 10:30:13 GMT

I was fucking a girl with a huge pussy years ago, and she said "I've had a coil fitted".

She could have had a carpet fitted!

Guys, if your girl could have a 'carpet fitted', then maybe you should have a little look at this pussy tightener.

Sex Toys Better Than Men No.5

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:57:07 GMT

Vibrators don't prematurely ejaculate.

Scunthorpe

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 00:07:58 GMT

If Typhoo put the 'T' in Britain. Who put the 'cunt' in Scunthorpe?
~ Anonymous

Sex Toys Better Than Men No.4

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 23:02:43 GMT

Vibrators don't burp, fart, belch or fall asleep on you.

Men

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 09:12:49 GMT

Men are like public toilets, they are either engaged or full of shit!
~ Anonymous