AdultsExoticA - The Exotic Adult Sex Blog

There's No Place Like Home!

A guy goes into a whorehouse, slaps $100.00 down on the counter and says "I want the ugliest whore in the house and a burnt steak!"

The guy on the counter replies "Man, for $100 you can have the best looking girl here and a fillet steak..."

The guys says "I'm not feeling sexy, I'm feeling homesick!"

I've Discovered Twitter!

Yes, I've discovered Twitter at last and it's fantastic!

It's the sensitive bit on a girl between the TWAT and the SHITTER!

The Gay Gardener

Was up to his balls in Pete...

Vagina - The Worlds Best Engine

The best engine in the world is the vagina:
It can be started with a single finger.
It takes any size piston.
It's self lubricating.
Every 4 weeks it does its own oil change.

It's just a pity the management system is so fucking temperamental.

Confessions of a Cunt by Janet S

My friends over at Adult eBook Shop tell me that they were recently presented with an erotic ebook to be added to their site...

The problem was the title with includes the C word. Which is of course very offensive to some people.

They deliberated hard and long over whether to put it up on their site. But when they read a few chapters they were HARD and LONG!

The story is autobiographical and is, apparently, very well written. The author, Janet S is a nymphomaniac. She loves cock, she loves sex, she loves sperm! And she sucks cock and fucks and fucks and fucks!

She's the sort of woman most men would love to meet and that most women would be terrified of. I would imagine that she would be condemned by most women and branded as an evil slut/slag.

Personally, I believe that women should read her story and learn how to FUCK how a man wants it.

Confessions Of A Cunt by Janet S - Is a very, very sexy read.

Prologue

The real title of the book, regardless what the cover says, is, Confessions of a Cunt. Most women find the use of the C word abhorrent; I know I did at one time. One cannot read or hear the word without it invoking a strong reaction, mostly negative. Why on earth would I then use it in the title especially when it's used to describe me? Well, simply put, I am a Cunt. I love sex; I need sex; I require sex of all kinds but it wasn't until I met Bob, my oldest and dearest Lover that I really learned the significance and power of the word. Bob describes it this way, "To me 'cunt' describes a woman who loves sex, craves it, and will do whatever it takes to be satisfied much more than your average woman. A 'cunt' has accepted the freedom to go after what she wants and needs. She understands that sex (especially with new people she's never met before) is the greatest feeling on earth and she lives for new incredibly exciting thrills only possible through sex.

Women should be proud of their cunts and use their cunts to get what they crave ... large hard cum-filled cocks. They should be proud of their power. When a man sees an attractive woman, he immediately starts dreaming of her cunt. He can get a good idea of her breasts, and also her ass,but he craves seeing her naked cunt. Most men want cunts more than anything else on earth. You, Janet, have discovered the awesome power of your cunt and you have used it to get what you want. Cunt is good. Cunt is sweet. Cunt is for eating and fucking. You have earned the right and privilege to be called a Cunt with a capital C."

Here's a short excerpt, it'll give you an idea of what this erotic ebook is like.

By the time I went off to college, I had a great deal of sex, or so I thought! College was, however, at a whole different level! This was a time when the burning of bras, women's lib, protest marches and free sex was in its heyday. I lost my bra as soon as my folks dropped me off and only put it on when I went home or for Parents Day. I loved that free feeling and guy's reaction to seeing my hard nipples poking out through my tops. I quickly took to unbuttoning my blouse a button or so more than norm and encouraged guys to look.

In my freshmen year I went to my first outdoor concert. No it wasn't Woodstock but it was it in an open field under a hot sun. I had worn a t-shirt, sandals and hot pants. Remember them? They were brown and very sexy and showed off my long legs nicely. Not long after my boyfriend and I arrived, we saw this girl topless. Shortly thereafter we saw another. He saw me looking at her and asked if I wanted to take off my top too.

Gone ... in six seconds along with my sandals. I loved it. My nipples were solid marbles all day and it wasn't because I was cold! I was so excited! I had gone topless on dates and at my folk's private pool but never in public. I was hooked. I loved the way everyone looked at me. It even seemed the girls were envious of my boldness as there were only a few of us topless.

Somewhere in the course of the day, I lost my boyfriend. He wasn't really my date, we were just friends but we ended up going in different directions along with my t-shirt and sandals! Not having a way to cover up added to my excitement. In the afternoon, I met up with a guy who knew me from school. He was wearing just a pair of ragged jeans. Soon we were holding hands walking around the grounds together before collapsing on a thick green grassy knoll to take in the music. I leaned back against him our skin bonded together by our sweat. Soon his hands found my tits and he gently played with them as we swayed to the music. It was terribly erotic and exciting and I tingled every time someone looked at us, especially while he was playing with my tits. It felt very nice! He politely asked me to take off my shorts. I told him I'd love to but there were too many people around. He graciously urged me assuring me it would be ok and even pointed to another couple some distance away that were nude. I still didn't do it but I didn't say, "No!" So he told me to lie down on my back. He moved around and hovered over my shorts and fiddled with the snap until he got it undone. I lost my breath when he slid the zipper down but arched up to assist him as he pulled them from my legs leaving my clad in a pair of pink bikini panties. He smiled and ran his hand over my tummy both exciting me and reassuring me that it was ok. I relaxed and, as soon as he sensed that, he slid his hands to the waistband of my panties and pulled them from me in an abrupt but controlled steady pull leaving me quite naked. I bit my lip sharply and could feel my wetness flooding my vagina. He parted my legs slightly; I was helpless to stop him. I watched in anticipation as his great shank of red hair lowered into my vagina. I felt his beard tickle my thighs and felt his lips touch my labia. I swooned as he gently lapped my pussy. He didn't do it long but it was enough to push my along.

He smiled and looked at me, "A little excited are we," he coyly asked? "You're very wet, aren't you?"

I could only nod as he moved next to me so that his pelvis was near my shoulder. The indication was clear. I reached over and began to pull down his zipper. I encountered one of the most exciting things ever and one that, to this day, excites me - bare skin. My soon-to-be-lover had gone commando and as I lowered his zipper, his semi-erect cock sprung from its weak denim confines and under my hand. At this point, I couldn't control myself; I had to suck his cock. I went down on him with all the skill I could muster. I greedily and wetly sucked his growing thin long solid rod taking as much as I could in my young mouth. I cupped his balls then licked them. I sucked just the head and frigged his shaft and then sucked him in more. I wanted his cock in my mouth and my mouth made love to his dick.

Before I was rewarded, he pulled away and took off his jeans completely which was my fourth revelation of the afternoon. Naked men, outdoors, in public are a huge turn-on. He parted my legs widely and fingered my pussy allowing me the pleasure of sucking his rod some more. I sensed more than saw people walking by within a few feet of us. Sometimes their shadows fell over us as I gave him head and he fingered my hairy pussy. I was close to cumming when he stopped.

He sat down and asked me to face him and sit on his cock...

I expect your hard by now!

Just go and buy it!

What's Your Arsehole For?

A gay guy goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, doctor I think I have got AIDS, please help me!"

The doctor says "You must go to the pub and drink 10 pints of beer followed by a Vindaloo curry every night for the next week."

The gay guy brightens up a bit and says "Will that cure me doc?"

The doctor says "No but at least you will know what your arsehole is for!"

Hot Steamy Erotic eBook Set On Tropical Island

My friends over at Adult eBook Shop tell me that they have a very erotic and sexy ebook newly added to their site...

Primitive by Lizbeth Dusseau - A very sexy read. My girlfriend loved it!

The blurb:
"You can't go primitive in the jungle without going wild. You can't dive into darkness without giving the darkness a sign of your savagery."

In the sensuous climate of a tiny South Seas Isle the pristine virgin, Camille, is betrayed by her ruthless sister, handed over to a white man who's turned savage by the teaming jungle. Captive and bound she angrily decries her fate. And yet, the master of the erotic, Llewellyn, knows she hungers to have her wild nature set free. He refuses to take her without her consent, but she succumbs to a seduction by his two dark-skinned native servants until she begs to be deflowered. So begins the odyssey of her transformation from virgin maid to sexual slave.

Conquered by Llewellyn's loving domination, she dives into primitive lust becoming a slave to her master—a queen in her jungle. A lush feast of psychological domination/submission, written in Camille's own words.

The Excerpt:
"You are a beautiful sight," he says. He is a stocky man, about five-feet ten. Older, perhaps forty, but handsome-and primitive for a white man. He wears a pair of tan Bermuda shorts, a baggy tan shirt open down the front, a chain of unusual beads and sandals. His graying hair has grown long dangling along side his cheeks. He wears a large straw hat so his face remains in the shadows, but that cannot prevent me from seeing the tattoos on his face. Two dark arrows mark his square jawline. And three bold lines of black, like fingers, are drawn down the sides of his nose. There is an earring in his ear and rings on each finger of one hand but none on the other. A tiny gold dot on the side of his nostril suggests that he's pierced there too. I find myself going cold seeing him, and have to turn away, he's difficult to look at.

Lydia has an altogether different response to our intruder. Though she's not bold enough to stand naked in front of him, she does nothing to cover herself even after the first shock is over. Still sitting on her rock, her breasts bared for his eyes she addresses him. "Whom might you be?"

"Llewellyn," he says, "And you?"

"Lydia Sebring, and that is my sister Camille, the bashful one. Our father is the scientist that has just arrived to study the island."

"Ah, I see now why there'd be two beauties sunbathing in my jungle. I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I stumbled on you." His voice is deep-throated and resonant, vibrating in the hollowness of the jungle. It gives me shivers when he speaks.

He looks back at me, but I can't look into his eyes, even though he waits for me to look at his face. In my peripheral vision, I can see his interest, but I don't want him interested in me. Lydia pulls her dress over her shoulders and saunters toward him, cocking her head so it tosses her slick hair half over her eyes, looking sexily mussed.

"And what do you do on the island?" she asks him

"I've lived here for twenty years. I paint."

"Ah, you're the man whose work hangs in all the galleries. Father said to watch out for you. I don't think he trusts you?"

"And what would give him that idea?"

"He says your paintings are savage. My father is not a savage man."

"He should stay here some years and see how he feels then."

I watch her work on the man, knowing that he'll be charmed the way every other man is seeing her. Slut. I hear myself saying that much too often, and I realize it's wrong to judge her. But she is so beyond me.

"But lest he think I'll do some evil to his daughters," Llewellyn continues, "I'd better go."

"Oh, now wouldn't that a be a delight," Lydia whispers to me as he strolls away.

"What would be a delight?"

"To have 'evil' done to me by that man," she says. Her eyes are evil, I think. That midnight, jet-black, sleek looking gleam makes me shiver as much as Llewellyn does.

"You should stay away from him," I tell her. Of course she won't listen.

After three weeks on the island, Lydia is off with Llewellyn several times. She's furtive about her visits, leaves me at our bathing pool, which I heartily protest, though she goes anyway. Sneaking along the jungle path she finds his hut somewhere in a remote part of the island and plays with him in bed. I don't want to hear about her sexual escapades, they disgust me. But I can't stop her talking late at night, when she plops down on my bed, after I've already fallen asleep. She wakes me, my eyes opening, startled to see her staring at me with an infernal gleam I cannot trust. She tells me how they made love.

He's not a child, Camille," she purrs like a cat when she speaks softly. "But a man. His body is strong, no flab for an old man, but so firm. He's tan without a line, like me. He tells me he works in the nude, but I haven't seen that yet." She heaves this deep, self-satisfied sigh. "He says he wants a female model. I think he'll use me. Wouldn't that be heavenly, to be studied all day by a man of art? To be rendered in color lounging among banana leaves and ferns? Makes me wet between my thighs, thinking of it."

"Lydia!" I protest. "I don't want to hear about your sex with the man."

"That's only because you're so envious."

"I am not. The last thing I want is a loveless affair with a man who is content to use me and then cast me off when he gets tired of me."

"Oh, you're incurable. In search of a husband? Here? In this god-forsaken place? It'll never happen, Camille. All we can hope for while father broods is to have some fun with our loins and a few potent stalks."

"Don't talk dirty!" I try to quell her again.

"I love talking dirty to you," she snickers. While I lie in bed, she leans over me, her two hands on either side of my head, her face bending down to mine. Her lips are much too close to mine. "You're so easy to upset. You get all in a dither looking stuffy. Your rules are going to make you miserable, little sis. But that's all right with me, because that means I'll have the creme de la creme for me. And let's face it, on this isle, we can't really be that choosy."

"The only man I want is a husband," I tell her.

"How naïve," she says backing away smirking. The twist to her lips makes me fear her. But I've seen it before so I have no reason to be afraid. Yet, in this sultry savage climate I'm not sure that she won't become more crazed than she already is.

Rising, she stands beside my bed and looks down on me.

"You know, he has the largest cock I've even seen, certainly that has ever entered me. His balls are heavy, hanging low. But it's his forceful way with me that intrigues me the most. When he presses into me, he rides hard and I scream carefree." The way her body undulates as she speaks I think she's back in the moment, remembering so well that she'll re-experience the whole scene before my eyes. I don't want to see it, but I have no choice but to wait until Lydia finishes her testimony. If I look away she won't stop, so I allow my eyes to keep their focus, staying one step back from her in consciousness. I try not to think of how her sensuous body is affecting me.

She runs her hands over her flesh, down the sticky sides of her satin gown. Her thighs quiver and she moans quietly, her eyes drooping lazily until they close. I'm too shocked to speak. She has me hypnotized the way she moves before me. The slip of a nightgown drops to the floor and she's naked masturbating before my eyes; though I don't think she even remembers I'm here the way she looks lost in her sensuous reverie. I watch as she fondles her breasts while a hand remains at her crotch opening the thatch of silken hair to expose the purple insides of her pussy. Her middle fingers moves directly to the hole deep in that cleft. One finger driving into the place becomes two, becomes three, until I realize that she's using her fingers like a cock to fuck herself...

Gay Sex eBook - FREE

My friends over at Adult eBook Shop tell me that gay ebook author Fergie Boy has given them an erotic gay ebook to give away for FREE to their visitors.

There is NO CATCH here, just a good old fashioned Freebie!

This ebook is all about arse fucking and cock sucking in the open air...

Here's a short excerpt:

He followed me into the shadows of the trees. I halted so he could walk the remaining few yards beside me then continued into the thicket caressing the boy’s arse as we walked: gently rubbing the material of his sarong round and round as I felt those fleshy mounds.

“I take off for you?” enquired the boy as we came to a halt.

“No,” I replied still stroking his buttocks, “keep it on: for a while anyway.”

“What you like? What you want me do? I do whatever you please.”

“I think it would be a good idea for you to get on your knees and start sucking my cock, then after that I shall undoubtedly fuck your arse.”

“Of course; whatever you wish, sir.”

“Enough chat, my lad. I have a speech to make tonight; a speech in praise of Thai delights. We do not have much time so start making better use of your tongue; I haven’t got all night.”

I leaned against a tree and spread my legs apart, and let the Thai lad set about his work. He knelt before me and with practised hands, pulled down my flies and pulled out my cock. It was hardening fast and it hardened even faster as an oriental tongue of deftly skill started to lick up and down the shaft. He knew exactly how to please; a professional through and through.

He teased with his tongue, licking round the rim of my glans, prising open the eye and wriggling in.

“Oh, yes!” I cried as he pierced my slit. “More of that! Stick your tongue in as far as you can.”

He did as I asked. Forced his tongue almost an inch down the slit and wriggled it around, sending shock waves down the length of my now rigid shaft, which exploded in my balls and ricocheted up my ass.

“Oh, shit, that’s good; that’s very good. But take it easy, I’m not in that much of a rush.”

The lad understood; he knew that I wanted the full service; making me come prematurely wasn’t on the cards. He removed his tongue from my slit and lapped the juices he had coaxed then resumed his work on my throbbing cock: a fine nine incher which he held in his hand as he continued with his task.

His teasing tongue made reptilian flicks all along the shaft, covering every inch of this impressive length. It was utter bliss, this calm sensuous pleasuring of my member, in stark contrast to the electrifying slit fuck of a few minutes before. Then with the softest of hands the lad pulled out my balls. He kissed them both, licked them long and slow then took them both in his mouth. He sucked them gently, his tongue flicking from one to the other, as his hand softly massaged my shaft.

Still sucking on my balls, he added his other hand to my glans, gathering the pre-cum which freely oozed out and smearing it all around...

If you want to find out what happened next, go and get the FREE GAY EBOOK now!

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Check out Cum & Gone porn DVD it's special too!

Watch the preview and if you're not erect by the end then you need help... I was very stiff with pre-cum leaking the fist fifty times I watched it!

Over four hours of serious fucking. In the preview you see thick penises fucking slippery wet vaginas, real bouncing tits, mouths stretched around swollen veiny shafts and you hear the girls gasping as they are fucked to orgasm!

You can actually see the girls shaven pussy lips getting pushed in and then coming back out clinging wetly to the distended shafts, you can hear the squelching if you listen carefully. To say these girls love their jobs is an understatement, just look at their faces, that is, if you can take your eyes of their wet gashes!

And there's some seriously large cocks in this movie too. I'm sure I saw Shane Diesel in the preview, his three inch thick monster is hard (no pun intended) to miss. Even these sluts find it hard to take it all in but that doesn't stop them trying though!

Watch Preview

Coke Bottle Up Ass X-Ray

Every picture tells a story!

And here's a story that some poor bastard wished they never had to tell.

Try explaining this away!

At some point during the insertion they must have realised that the bottle was jammed. And then they must have started to consider their options. To say they must have regretted their actions would be an understatement!

I would dearly love to hear the story behind (no pun intended) this.

Any way, it's a fact of life that some people love shoving things up their arse. It feels great...

But if you are bent (no pun intended) on sticking things up your back passage, please follow the following tips.

1. Use proper sex toys such as Anal Beads or Butt Plugs or Prostate Toys.

2. Use plenty of Anal Lubricants.

3. A nice clean arsehole makes the whole (no pun intended) thing more pleasant. So use an Anal Douche.

4. Do NOT stick large objects up your anus, if you must auto-sodomise yourself, use something small(ish).

Ass Fucking - Stories About Gay Sex

My friends over at Adult eBook Shop have recently taken on a new gay ebook author called Fergie Boy.

His ebooks are full of arse fucking and cock sucking of the gay variety and are apparently written from personal experience...

The strange thing is that there are more than a few women buying these gay ebooks. So, there are girls out there that like to read about men on the receiving end of thick meaty cocks!

Any way, here's a small excerpt of some arse fucking:

It wouldn’t have bothered me if we gave each other licence to fuck about when not together. For young lads of our age, casual sex was nothing more than innocent fun as long as you played nice and safe. But Giles didn’t see it that way, and whilst he had never asked for fear I would deny him, I knew it was what he wanted - a commitment to each other even when apart; a commitment with fidelity at its heart. And I was sure that I wanted him; HIM, my Giles, in his shallow entirety, not just his fabulous arse to fuck. So I decided to give it a go. I acted like a caring boyfriend instead of shagging who I pleased then lying through my teeth to keep him happy. As one might imagine after such a lengthy time - I was desperate to get up his ass!

"Pull over!" I said once we were off the main road and cruising along a charming little French country lane; a warm breeze in our faces, the scent of lavender heavy in the air. It was almost as clichéd as our primary school show; but Provence is actually like that! I had been stroking Giles bare thigh for much of the journey and had now moved on to his crotch. Giles had obligingly spread his legs so that I could have a good feel at his cock and balls, nestled underneath his shorts.

"We’re almost there," he replied. "They’re expecting us for lunch. You’ll have to wait."

"Sod lunch. Pull over." I gave his balls a hard squeeze to underline my request, and make it clear that if he didn’t comply I would ravish him whilst still driving, and he would end up pranging daddy’s car into a hedge.

Giles found a narrow track and drew into it, taking us well away from the road. He looked over to me with an incredible smile on his face. He really was lovely in that gentrified way: sapphire eyes and ruby lips, perfect skin and teeth, a classically handsome young man of twenty. What the hell did he see in me?

Plenty is the answer! I rowed for Cambridge - that’s why they accepted me; for brawn, rather than social status or brains. I was the powerhouse in the eight that thrashed Oxford earlier this year: a six feet three hunk with a body to die for and a whopping big cock that knew how to fuck - knew how to pleasure an aristocratic ass.

Giles loved my cock; he couldn’t get enough of it. When we were at college, I would ride him at least twice every night; then ride him again the following morning before we set out to class. I enjoy a good fuck, and I like to fuck lots - this past month of abstinence had been an anathema to my very soul: what my cock had made of it I dare not say, but I can assure you, it wasn’t best pleased!

I abandoned my groping of his crotch and slid my hand down the back of his shorts. My fingers went straight to his crack and forced their way down until I found his hole. I circled it enjoying its warmth and moistness, its modest reluctance to let me in. Then I thrust my finger up him, bullying it past his clenching ring, and wriggled it around inside his silky chute, massaging his spot with the pad.

Giles instinctively moaned, unable to resist this teasing advance, and he squirmed delightedly on top of my hand.

"Oh! Oh God! God how I’ve missed you," he cried.

I looked him in the eye and smirked. "It feels tight," I replied as I tried to force a second digit into his body.

His summer colour dimmed the blush, but I could still see a tinge of red on his cheeks. It was not embarrassment that put it there, but a fear of actions unspoken. "Of course it’s tight," he said. "It hasn’t been fucked for a month."

"My, my; you have been a good boy!"

"I told you. I don’t want anyone else. I only want you..."

I heard the question in his voice. The question that he didn’t dare ask directly in case the answer hurt or he heard a lie. It felt good that I could deliver my gift truthfully and please him with words on top of mischievous fingers. Words had never been my strongest suit; I’m more of a physical sort of guy.

"Well, it’ll be getting fucked today. I’ve been climbing the walls for the past month: celibacy does not agree with me, I can assure you!"

Giles radiated a smile that made it all worth while. "Thank you," he said then he leaned over and stroked my cock which was throbbing under my jeans and kissed me tenderly on the lips.

"We should go. Mummy will be livid if we get there late."

"Bollocks to that! I want to fuck you now."

"After lunch. We’ll go for a walk."

"Yeah, we will, and I’ll fuck you then as well. Now get out of the car. No one will see us here."

I’m sure it was less his desperation for me to shaft him, and more his pleasure at my fidelity that caused him to obey. He freed himself from my fingers and sprang out of the car, laughing at our audacity. He made to go into a nearby field, where he assumed we would rut like French peasants of old, spilling our seed onto the precious soil. But I grabbed him by the wrist and drew him to me; kissed him passionately on the mouth in classic Bond fashion then manhandled him over the bonnet of the classic Bond car.

Giles assumed a position, spread eagled over the front of the Aston Martin; his arms thrown out in crucified surrender and his legs parted wide, anxious to get speared. I pushed his legs together and roughly pulled his shorts down to reveal his stunning peachy ass. I would have a good look at that later, inspect what was mine to fuck as I pleased, an arse that was never denied me. I would spend hours treating my boy with my tongue and my cock. But for now I would have myself a quick shag.

I dropped my jeans to my thighs and released my throbbing cock. A ten inch angry beast sprang out, salivating from a blind eye as it lobbed up and down...

If that gives you a hard-on or if you are a girl, a wide-on, then got check out some more Arse Fucking Stories

Secret Confessions Of A High-Priced Call Girl

My friends over at Adult eBook Shop were recently contacted by a girl called Dimitra Ekmektsis who said she had written a true account of her time as a high class hooker.

The ebook Secret Confessions Of A High-Priced Call Girl is now available on their site.

It's amazing what you can do with a vagina, if guys were born with one they'd all be whores. That's for sure. She lived a fantastic life-style well beyond the means of most people, purely financed by her pussy.

But there's more to Dimitra, she's clever and funny and ambitious and her ebook is well worth a read...

Here's an excerpt:

Jake is on his way to my apartment. It's time for me to get ready for our appointment. Jake likes real boudoir beauties wearing spiky heels and see-through camisoles, as well as he loves push-up bras and frilled panties, or stocking-ed legs. All my clients do... I shower, slip into my four-inch stilettos and walk toward the full-length mirror in the bedroom. I bring the sheer black tulle-edged thong up over my hips. Then I adjust the matching bra over my breasts. It barely covers my nipples. It's like wearing no bra at all, but more provocative. I apply lip-gloss; spray my skin with Prada Infusion D'Iris, which is my favorite scent, and look at my watch. It's 7 p.m. - exactly. Jake calls from his cell phone. He's here and has already parked in the lot behind the building. I stay on the phone until he reaches my apartment. Then I open the door.

"Hi, sexy," he says.

"Hi Jake," I say, and kiss him on the cheek.

I take his hand and lead him through the living room and into the bedroom. He places a plain envelope on my dresser. I know what it contains. I don't need to ask my regular clients for the money, and I really never have to count it. "Jake, do you like my new outfit?" I tease.

"You know that I do."

He is rendered speechless and unable to look away. I start to undress him, while his hand slides down my back to my ass. He gets rock-hard as I unbuckle his belt and pop open his fly so his pants fall to the floor; he's wearing boxer shorts with a colorful pattern of martini glasses. His hard-on is pushing against a martini glass. I pull them off, take a condom from my dresser and roll it down on his hard dick. Then I suck him off, working my mouth up and down the shaft, with my tongue swirling all around the head. "You do that so well. Don't stop, don't stop." he says, all the while his hands roam my thighs.

I continue licking and sucking his cock and rubbing his balls. He squeezes my tits through the delicate material of my bra. His breathing is really heavy.

"Take it off," I tell him.

He finds the bra clasp, opens it and helps me get the garment off my body. My nipples get hard as he squeezes them. Suddenly he pulls his dick out of my mouth, putting it between my breasts. He squeezes them together. He starts fucking my tits, the head of his cock appearing and disappearing close to my face. (My breasts are large for my body. And they are real.)

"I want to go down on you," he says after a while and peels off my thong.

My legs are open wide to give him more access. He leapsbetween my thighs, burying his mouth in my pussy. He finds the right spot with his tongue and makes me come. After I come in his mouth he kisses me from my lips down to my belly button. Then he stops, grabs my legs and turns me on my stomach. He grabs my ass and pulls it in the air so I'm on all fours. Getting on his knees behind me...

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They have the cheapest prices on sex toys in the UK. So, if you want one, check them out and see for yourself.

This Realistic Vibrator is called Adam's Cock 7X Vibrating and is just superb, check out the veins and the massive testicles!

It's heavy too. Over a pound in weight apparently, it's thick! Oh, it's thick! And it VIBRATES!

It's the vibrator version of the Adam's Pleasureskin Cock which is their best selling realistic dildo.

Here's some of the reviews for the non-vibrating version:

My first impression of the Adam's Pleasureskin Cock was JChrist that looks impressive.
I have several toys from various sources but i have to say that this is the most realistic lookin n feelin one ever! I just can't leave it alone.
I would highly recommend Adam's Pleasureskin Cock.
~ karen

My first impression of the Adam's Pleasureskin Cock was: TOO BIG!
After the initial reaction of "this is NOT going to work" from my wife, I warmed her up with um......my head between her legs for a while. She then was able to slide this monster into her wet pussy in seconds. We posted "Adam" on our headboard and within three or four minutes of "Adam" in her now engorged pussy and my rock hard cock in her mouth she orgasmed and she then begged me to fuck her in her ass. We've experienced anal before, by my usually timid wife of 13 years NEVER gave herself so willingly. We moved into the shower and with the beast on the wall, I easily slid my cock into my wife's ass. After a few minutes of being DP'd and another couple of orgasms (in tones and volumes I've never heard before!), that was just about enough for the both of us. Men....if you're not intimidated by a cock larger than yours....BUY THIS FOR YOUR WOMAN! TODAY!
I would recommend Adam's Pleasureskin Cock.
~ john

My wife has many toys...but this one she loves and for once admits she enjoys this. I've spent £'s on toys yet this is one, if not the best it's definitely best value!!
~ Anon

Read more Adam's Pleasureskin Cock Reviews...

I have checked out a few other sites for you and found this from a guy!

i was wondering what anal was like so i popped on the next and after a week days of thinking about it i got this and wow was i shocked when i opened the post that day this thing is big and scary still i lube up and after about half an hour i managed 2 get the head in an hours later i was at the balls. if this is ur 1st time with anal like it was mine then its goin 2 hurt but it feels soo good once u have given it a go for me this is a top buy

So there you have it. As I said earlier 'They do like it up'em!' and so would you. Buy It Now

Mexican Rebels Sex Slaves - Vol 2 Illustrated

This ebook Mexican Rebels Sex Slaves - Vol 2 Illustrated by Powerone is a brilliant ebook now on sale at Adult eBook Shop.

As the name suggests, it's the second part of the story. The ebook is illustrated with fantastic cartoons of the two women getting fucked senseless buy burly Mexican Rebels with huge fat cocks.

Here's an excerpt, it's strong stuff:

"Yes." The General clapped as she performed the lewd act for him. "Turn around and let me see that nice ass."

At least her back was to him as she let her ass sway back and forth sensuously, teasing him with her skirt, letting it slide up over her naked cheeks then back down again. She finally let it slide up to her waist, her naked ass pushed out towards him as she wagged her ass as if she was a trained dog.

"Bend over Angela and spread your legs. Let your skirt stay up high. I want to see that tiny little asshole." He waited, slapping the riding crop on the edge of the chair, the resounding ring in the room making Angela jump, bending over quickly, getting into the provocative he required of her. "Ass up in the air and spread your legs wider."

The sound of the whip scared her. She jumped, quickly getting into the position he wanted her in, knowing how obscenely it must look from behind, her ass thrust up, the spread of her legs allowing her cheeks to relax, sure her anus was completely exposed. She was afraid of what he might do tonight, hearing them talk of her asshole, of sodomizing her, fearful of the pain as something as large as his cock would be if shoved into her tiny anus. She arched up higher, exposing herself more to him, her legs widely spaced, the cool air of the room on her exposed sex. She looked back between her legs, seeing him on the chair, his eyes glued to her sex, his hand stroking his already hardening cock. No, she thought of him fucking her again.

The General stood up, his cock jutting out in front of him, the sight of her tiny asshole making him instantly hard. "Take off your skirt and then on the bed Angela. It's time to fuck." He watched as she let the skirt fall to the floor, stepping out of it, naked for his pleasure. She was so beautiful, her naked breasts standing out so firm, her nipples still hard. Her hips nestled the sweetest pussy he had ever seen, a touch of a bush highlighting it. He picked up a rope, moving towards the bed. "I'm going to tie your wrists to make sure you are in my bed all night.

I often wake up with a hard-on that your lovely body will satisfy. On your back, hands over your head." He watched as she stretched out her naked body on the bed, fighting the urge to jump between her legs and shaft her with his hard cock.

She shivered in fear as she pulled her arms over her head, holding her wrists together as he moved towards her with the cruel rope in his hand. His cock was almost in her face again as he bent over her, tying the rough rope around her wrists three times before pulling the end of the rope through the headboard, pulling it tight until her wrists were drawn tightly back. She yanked on them, no play at all in the rope; her arms were bound tightly, unable to escape.

She feared him now, completely defenseless, knowing that he would soon be driving his hard cock into her young body again and she was powerless to stop him.

The General let his hands run down her body, over her heaving breasts, forcing her to spread her legs so he could draw two fingers up and down her slit, making her wet. "Get your pussy wet for me Angela or it's going to hurt when I fuck you." He plunged two fingers into her vagina, her ass rising up from the bed in pain, her legs spreading wide, hoping to relieve some of the pain of the brutal finger fucking. "Make your pussy crème for me Angela."

She just couldn't get wet, no matter how much he fingered her. She shook her head back and forth as he continued to plunge in and out of her dry vagina.

"If you wouldn't get wet, at least make my cock hard. Raise up your ass from the bed and keep your legs spread." His voice was demanding, his hands helping her get into the position he required.

Angela didn't know what he was going to do, letting him move her body any way he wanted, afraid of him, bound and helpless. He spread her legs wider, making her lower body rise up from the bed,her sex now grossly exposed and the highest point of her body. She knew her pussy was exposed, afraid of what he would do to it.

He lightly tapped her inner thighs, slapping at the tender skin, seeing it turn red instantly. Each time he slapped, she was forced to spread her legs wider and wider. Finally he had her where he wanted her. He let his hand raise back and then swing forward, a loud resounding slapping of flesh ringing out in the room as his powerful palm of his hand slapped harshly against her spread pussy.

"GGGGOOODD, EEEEHH," she screamed in pain, the sudden rush of shooting pain hitting her brain as she suddenly realized what he had done. He had spanked her pussy, his hand slapping so hard she thought she was being pushed out of the bed.

She saw him swing his hand back again. She shouted, "No! No! Not again, not there!" The sharp pain returned again, her delicate inner pussy lips receiving the brunt of the slap. She was afraid of him, keeping her body in the spread position, her pussy defenseless against his spanking.

The General slapped her three more times before stopping, her sex now red, his cock now jutting out, rock hard, ready for another fuck. "On your hands and knees Angela. My cock wants your sweet pussy wrapped around it."

Angela turned over onto her hands and knees, ashamed at how exposed she was, humiliated at being placed in the doggy position. His hands moved her body around, positioning it for her debasement.

The General let his hands slid between her thighs, pushing out on the tender flesh, shuffling her knees to spread out farther and farther until he was pleased with the way her sex and asshole began to spread open. "Good girl, I like your legs wide open like that, ready for a good fuck." He placed his hands under her abdomen, drawing her body up into the air, arching her butt for his pleasure. "Get your ass into the air," he ordered her. He pushed her hips side to side. "Wag your little tail doggy," laughing as he teased her, seeing her face turn red in shame. "That's good, that's the way little girls should be. On their hands and knees, their plump little ass up in the air, their legs spread wide, ready for a good fucking..."

Fat Girl Question

Q. How do you get a fat girl into bed.

A. "Piece of Cake."

The Ronaldo Song

You put your transfer in,
Your transfer out,
In out in out,
You fuck your club about,
You do the Christiano and
you change your mind,
that's what it's all about...
Woahhh Ronaldo is a wanker,
Woahhh Ronaldo is a wanker,
Woahhh Ronaldo is a wanker,
Knees bent, arms stretched,
DIVE DIVE DIVE!

New Pet

I bought a pet Goldfish yesterday but the bloody thing is epileptic.

It's strange because it seems ok when I put it back in its bowl.

Heavy Shit Going Down

Turds Over 10 Pounds Must Be Lowered By Hand

One Up The Bum Plenty Of Harm Done

Famous headline on front page of an English World War 2 news paper.

BRITISH PUSH BOTTLES UP GERMANS REAR

And if your thinking of pushing anything up someone's rear then check out these Butt Plugs, Anal Beads and Prostate Toys...

Would you really like to see what can happen if you Push a Bottle Up the Arse!

Hello Sailor!

The Vice Admiral's vice was the Rear Admirals's rear.